Can you imagine having to ask someone ~ will you forget me? Probably one of the worst thoughts I can conjure. To believe that my life and the place I've made for myself in this universe will no longer have meaning to someone - meaning enough, anyway, that you are thought of and remembered.
Yes, my friend, this is written with you in mind. I know that you come to my place here on this page and read my thoughts from time to time. Circumstances leave you with only periodic abilities to check on my musings. But, I do know that you will sometime again....
She has asked me this thought ~ "will you forget me?" in question form and in statement. With a quivering voice and a hard to miss pleading she has also stated that she will be forgotten; lost to the years of not belonging. It makes me quiver - a repulsive thought, that I'd rather strangle.
If only I could send you bouquets of fluffy white each week. You would see that you are thought of in the beauty of my garden. Where would I send them? Where would that address be that your body & soul should reside in comfort and peace for more than weeks at a time? Never ending uprooting - that is how I see your last four years. Your soul cannot possibly light as your body has put restrictions upon it and each time your spirit breathes a sigh... "ahhh , I am home and resting in wellness".. then your traitor of a body flings the next unforgivable act at you.
If words could do as a gift of remembrance.. then that is what I do here, albeit only very few times have I spoken about your suffering. Instead my words come by way of a telephone line - but your rootlessness can put stumbling blocks on this also. The numbers for you have collected on scraps of paper strewn near my computer, near to the telie, even written in erasable pencil unto our address book. Many numbers that often go unanswered when phoned.
Surely in your mind, that group of vibrant, loving, raucous, delightful women that you've shared the highlights of your life with - have moved on. You would be mistaken to think such! Continuing on with life is far different from leaving the past behind never to be thought about, or spoken of again. The extremeness of your life and health of your body has changed many things - it has NOT, and will never make anyone FORGET about you.