Friday, March 16, 2012

Don't Call Him Patty!

This morning I posted my St. Patrick's Day entry a tad early... seems I've now found the official word on all things Irish! Very humorous to read. Have a go at it ~

The provisional government of :

Paddy, Not Patty

to the people of the New World.

Never ye mind.
Each and every year millions of Irish, Irish-ish and amateur alcoholics are needlessly distracted from their Holy Tradition of drinking themselves into a stupor in the name of Saint Patrick, a Roman Briton slave holding the dubious honour of bringing Christianity to an island that would use it as another convenient excuse to blatter the hell out of each other for centuries.
The source of this terrible distraction?
An onslaught of half-hearted, dyed-green references to St. Patrick's Day as St. Patty's Day.
It gnaws at them. It riles them up. It makes them want to fight… you know, more than usual.
It's Paddy, not Patty. Ever.
Saint Patrick's Day? Grand.
Paddy's Day? Sure, dead-on.
St. Pat's? Aye, if ye must.
St. Patty? No, ye goat!
Paddy is derived from the Irish, Pádraig, hence those mysterious, emerald double-Ds.
Patty is the diminutive of Patricia, or a burger, and just not something you call a fella.
There's not a sinner in Ireland that would call a Patrick, “Patty”. It's insulting. It's really as simple as that.

Grand wee versions

  • Paddy
  • Pat
  • Packie
  • Podge
  • Pád
  • Pod

Daft eejit versions

  • Patty

While I'm bending your ear…

Shamrock isn't just any auld piece of clover: it's three-leafed. It ended up a symbol of Ireland because tradition holds that St. Patrick used shamrock to teach the Trinity. If someone slaps a four-leaf clover on their plastic leprechaun hat, they're some gombeens. Also, I had my first Shamrock Shake last year and it was truly boggin.
Irish Car Bomb isn't a cute name for a drink or cupcake and, if you're pushing shite like this, cut it out. People that lived their lives punctuated by car bombs aren't amused. 25-year-old Ronan Kerr was murdered last year by an Irish car bomb; he can't join you for a drink.
Paddy, like Mick or Taig (Teague), has been used for centuries as an ethnic slur—a common form of disrespect referring to an entire body of people by a stereotypical name—but it's not an insult if it's actually your name. It depends on intent: shout my name at me with a brick attached and I'll take it as an insult.

Banter on the Twitternets

Do your Irish great-great-grand-uncle proud and let these buck eejits know that it's Paddy, not Patty…

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